Menopause and Career Mojo: How Partners Can Be Our Secret Superpower.
- pauseandempower
- 5 days ago
- 5 min read
Communication: The Cornerstone of Support
Let’s be honest: talking about menopause isn’t the sort of thing most couples dreamily whisper over dinner. But maybe it should be. Communication — real, open, laugh-a-little-even-if-you-want-to-cry communication — is the absolute bedrock of navigating menopause with your partner’s support. It's the difference between silently muddling through and thriving together.
We’re not asking for Shakespearean soliloquies or candlelit “let’s talk about your fluctuating oestrogen” chats. We're talking about honest, clear conversations where both parties feel safe, heard and respected. And yes, it can be a little awkward at first — especially if your partner thinks “perimenopause” is a Pokémon — but the payoff is monumental.
Why It Matters So Much
Here’s the thing: menopause can be deeply disorienting. Hormonal shifts don't just affect your body — they can affect your mood, memory, confidence, focus, and even your sense of self. Imagine showing up to work feeling foggy-headed, sleep-deprived and inexplicably anxious, only to power through without ever explaining what’s really going on.
In the workplace, menopause is still a taboo in many circles. The 2023 Fawcett Society report found that 44% of menopausal women said their ability to work was affected by their symptoms — and yet 41% felt they couldn't talk about menopause at work (Fawcett Society, 2023). So if you’re biting your tongue in meetings, trying not to look flushed while you fan yourself under the desk, the last thing you need is to come home to silence.
That’s where your partner comes in — not with solutions necessarily, but with the capacity to listen and validate your experience.
So, How Do You Start the Conversation?
There’s no perfect script, but there are a few golden rules:
Pick your moment Try to find a time when neither of you are distracted, tired or about to launch into the weekly supermarket run. A quiet walk, a cup of tea on a lazy Sunday morning, or a phone-free dinner can be great opportunities.
Be direct, not dramatic You don’t need to make it a “we need to talk” affair (unless you enjoy a bit of theatre). Try something like: “I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts lately, and I think it’s connected to menopause. I’d really appreciate being able to talk about it with you.”
Use real-life examples Explaining the what is just as important as the why. You might say: “I’ve been having trouble focusing at work, and it’s making me anxious about meetings. I just need to vent sometimes, without fixing it — is that OK?”
Invite them in Communication goes both ways. Ask if they’ve noticed anything. Let them share their perspective. They might be feeling a bit helpless, too.
Building Ongoing Dialogue
It’s not about a one-off ‘menopause summit’. It’s about weaving these check-ins into everyday life, just like you would for anything else that matters — parenting, finances, holidays, even what to watch on Netflix.
Some women create “codewords” for particularly tricky moments. One client of mine calls her brain fog moments “fizzy days” — she tells her husband, “It’s a bit fizzy upstairs today” and he knows not to bombard her with decisions or interruptions.
Others share articles, podcasts, or social media posts to open up discussion. A recent survey by Gen-M in 2024 found that 78% of women said simply having more public conversations about menopause helped reduce their feelings of isolation (Gen-M, 2024).
If you’re both up for it, you could even have a “Menopause and Me” catch-up once a month — a 20-minute chat to check in on how you’re feeling, what’s working, what’s not. Add snacks. Possibly wine.
Dealing with Misunderstandings (Because They Will Happen)
Let’s face it, even the most understanding partner can occasionally put their foot in it. Maybe they suggest you “go for a run” when you’re already doing laps of hot flushes. Maybe they ask “have you tried herbal tea?” when what you need is Hormone Replacement Therapy and a lie down.
In those moments, breathe. Try to assume positive intent. If they love you enough to want to help, even if they sometimes say the wrong thing, you’re halfway there. Gently explain what helps and what doesn’t. And if humour helps (which it often does), find the funny side. One woman I coach jokes that her partner “thinks HRT stands for Hug, Rest, Tea — and honestly, I’ll take all three!”
The Quirky Side of Menopause Conversations
Communication doesn’t always have to be serious and solemn. In fact, sometimes, a little laughter is the best medicine.
Create a “Menopause Mood Board” together on the fridge — with emojis or magnets to signal your daily vibe: 🌤️ = feeling hopeful, 🌪️ = stand back, 🔥 = bring ice cream. It sounds silly, but it takes the sting out of having to say “I’m having a tough day.”
Or make a “Menopause Playlist” — songs that lift your mood, or capture how you’re feeling (yes, Hot Stuff by Donna Summer is on many of them). It can be a playful way of keeping communication open without needing a deep chat every time.
Why It Makes a Real Difference
When your partner listens — really listens — without minimising your experience or rushing to solve everything, something shifts. You feel seen. You feel valued. And that, in turn, affects your confidence at work, your resilience, and your overall wellbeing.
As Dr Louise Newson, leading UK menopause specialist, puts it: "When women feel supported at home and at work, the impact of menopause on their careers significantly reduces" (Balance Menopause, 2023).
It’s not just about love — it’s about partnership.
To the Partners Reading This
Here’s your cheat sheet:
Ask questions.
Don’t offer unsolicited solutions (unless the solution is chocolate).
Be patient.
Know that tears and laughter can co-exist in the same conversation.
And above all — keep showing up.
Final Thoughts
Menopause may be unpredictable, but with regular, open-hearted communication, it doesn’t have to be isolating. Your partner can be a mirror, a teammate, and sometimes just the person who hands you a fan and says, “You’ve got this.”
By talking openly — even clumsily — you’re laying the foundation for resilience, connection, and possibly a few inside jokes about brain fog. And that’s no small thing.
Because in the end, careers are built not just on ambition, but on support. And the conversations you have today? They’re the scaffolding for everything you’ll achieve tomorrow.
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