How to Deal with Being Diagnosed as Neurodiverse When You’re Working and Menopausal.

By an ADHD Career Coach for Menopausal Women!

I’ll be honest — menopause was already throwing enough curveballs my way. Hot flushes that could warm a small village. Brain fog that turns simple tasks into advanced cryptography. And now, apparently, a shiny new label to add to the mix: ADHD.

Yes, that’s right. At an age when many of us are supposed to be “slowing down”, I was suddenly facing a realisation that I’d been neurodiverse all along. It’s a curious and often misunderstood combination — menopause and ADHD — and it can feel like running a three-legged race on a treadmill set to “uphill”. But let’s rewind to how this all began.

I enjoy changing my working location.

The Nudge (or Several) That Started It All

For years, I’d jokingly referred to myself as a “bit ditzy”. I’d forget names, leave my keys in the fridge (don’t ask), and have the concentration span of a gnat on espresso. But as friends — old and new — started getting their own ADHD diagnoses, something interesting happened.

Several of them, with uncanny synchronicity, began saying, “Amanda, have you ever considered you might have ADHD too?”

Initially, I brushed it off. After all, I’d had a successful HR contracting career in London for 25 years. Surely, if I’d been ADHD, someone would have spotted it by now… right? But deep down, I knew there was something to it. The way I hyperfocused on work projects yet couldn’t remember what I went upstairs for five minutes ago. The way I could juggle complex restructures but forgot to eat lunch.

Curiosity grew louder than doubt. So, I decided to do something about it.

Diagnosis, the NHS Way (and the ADHD Way)

Like a good citizen, I started with the NHS “Right to Choose” route. But the waiting list was months long, and patience has never exactly been my strong suit. (What a surprise.)

So, I did what any determined, newly suspicious ADHDer might do — I researched. A lot. And eventually, I plumped for CareADHD, a service recommended by several peers. The cost was lower than other private providers, and the process sounded… dare I say it… slightly less daunting.

Of course, “slightly less daunting” in ADHD terms still meant what felt like War and Peace in form format. Endless symptom checklists. Executive function questionnaires. Even childhood behaviour forms. And therein lay my first hurdle.

“Ask Someone Who Knew You as a Child” — Oh.

I grew up moving around with my family, thanks to Dad’s Army career (the real thing, not the sitcom). This meant no lifelong friends from primary school to call upon.

So, to Mum I went.

Now, my mum is from the “Keep Calm and Carry On” generation — not exactly raised on a diet of diagnoses and acronyms. I half expected her to say something along the lines of “Don’t be ridiculous, Amanda. You were just a lively child.” Instead, after filling in multiple questionnaires, she surprised me with “I think your Dad (RIP) had this too.” Cue a rather emotional moment. Because when I looked at the classic ADHD traits — impulsivity, hyperfocus, restlessness — suddenly a lot of family history made sense.

The Assessment: Lifting the Mask

Once I’d submitted my epic paperwork, I had my official “interview” with CareADHD. They went through my answers in detail, asked more probing questions, and then delivered the verdict: I’d likely been masking my ADHD since childhood.

Masking, for those new to the term, is when neurodiverse people learn to mimic neurotypical behaviour to “fit in” — often at great personal cost. In my case, I’d built a successful, fast-paced career in HR contracting, relying on adrenaline, intuition, and an Olympic-level ability to juggle spinning plates. But as menopause crept in, hormonal changes stripped away some of that masking ability.

Dr Louise Newson, a leading menopause specialist, explains that falling oestrogen levels affect dopamine regulation — the very neurotransmitter system that’s already under strain in ADHD brains. As she puts it, “the decline in oestrogen during perimenopause and menopause can amplify ADHD symptoms or bring them to light for the first time” (Newson, 2024).

And suddenly, things I’d chalked up to “menopausal brain fog” or “just getting older” had a different explanation.

So… What Now?

When the diagnosis came through, I had a swirl of emotions. Relief, because it gave me language for something I’d lived with unknowingly for decades. Frustration, because I’d spent years accommodating myself without understanding why. And, weirdly, excitement — because now I could finally build strategies that worked with my brain rather than against it.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far about navigating ADHD and menopause while working:

1. Self-Awareness is Power (Even If It Arrives in Midlife)

Understanding my ADHD traits has been a game-changer. I now know that I thrive in bursts of hyperfocus but need structure to manage admin and routine. I’m not “flaky” — I’m wired differently. And that’s okay.

2. Menopause Magnifies, But Doesn’t Define You

Yes, the brain fog is real. Yes, dropping oestrogen can make symptoms more pronounced. But understanding the biology behind it removes some of the shame. I’ve learned to work with my hormonal cycles — for example, scheduling complex work for when I feel more alert and using lighter tasks on foggier days.

3. Talk to Your Employer (If You Can)

Under the Equality Act, menopause can be considered a protected characteristic, and neurodiversity may fall under disability protection too. Many organisations are slowly catching up to the reality that menopause and neurodiversity intersect.

The brilliant resource Menopause in the Workplace highlights that employers should make reasonable adjustments for both, from flexible working patterns to environmental tweaks (Menopause in the Workplace, 2025).

4. Practical Workplace Hacks Help

Leeds Mind offers some wonderfully practical neuroinclusive tips — like breaking tasks into smaller steps, using visual reminders, creating structured routines, and avoiding sensory overload (Leeds Mind, 2025). I’ve incorporated many of these into my working day, and they’ve made a noticeable difference.

5. Community Matters

It’s not just about “coping” — it’s about connecting. Talking openly with other menopausal and neurodiverse women has been invaluable. The sense of “Oh my goodness, me too!” is powerful. Whether through online groups, networks at work, or coaching circles, shared experience turns isolation into empowerment.

A Final Thought: It’s Never Too Late to Understand Yourself

I used to think ADHD was something you either grew out of or would have known about as a child. I now know it’s neither. For many women, menopause is the great unmasker. It pulls away the coping mechanisms we’ve used for decades and reveals patterns we’ve never had the language to describe.

But a diagnosis — especially later in life — isn’t a limitation. It’s an invitation to rewrite the rules of how you work, live and lead.

I’m still navigating it all — with my ADHD brain, my menopausal body, my sense of humour firmly intact — and yes, occasionally with my keys in the fridge. But I’m doing it with clarity, kindness, and strategy. And that’s what really matters.

Helpful Resources

• Dr Louise Newson: ADHD and Hormones in Women

• Menopause in the Workplace: Neurodiversity and Menopause

• Leeds Mind: ADHD Top Tips for the Workplace

About the Author: Amanda Connolly is a Career Coach for Menopausal Women and an HR consultant (turned wellbeing advocate), she helps women navigate life transitions with humour, strategy, and a good cup of SpaceDust!

#MenopauseAndADHD #NeurodiversityAtWork #PauseAndEmpower #MenopauseMatters #ADHDAwareness #WorkingThroughMenopause #WomenInMidlife #CareerCoachingForWomen